World’s Worst Tenants, on SPIKE TV, is one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen. You cannot make up the stuff they walk into. It’s simply impossible to imagine how bad/strange/weird some of the goings ons in people’s apartments are. You have to see it to believe it.
Here’s a link to the show: http://www.spike.com/shows/worlds-worst-tenants/
The premise is these 3 are eviction specialists and go to tenants’ apartments/homes to serve them with eviction notices, cease and desist orders, etc. Todd is an ex-Marine, and he looks like a body-builder. He is very aggressive, while his partner, Rick, is a bit more mellow and reasonable. Then there’s Randye, Todd’s wife, who often goes out with them on tenant visits and calls the police, when necessary, while the guys do the more physical work. There is some kicking in of doors, and physical confrontations do happen. Todd often says to Randye, “Stay there” while he and Rick handle the confrontations. She is blond and busty, natch. Gotta have some eye candy, right?
When I first watched it was just a “let’s see what this is” foray. I figured it would end up being dumb or boring. Oh boy, was I wrong! The first episode I saw had Todd and Rick going to an apartment complex because there had been a noise complaint from some tenants, and they were trying to find out what the problem was. They traced the noise to a utility room, but could not find the source. Then they knocked on the adjacent apartment door and discovered this guy was a keeping bees, and he had a beehive in his apartment! What’s more, many of the bees had escaped and went through some sort of gap in the wall, which led to the utility room, which is why there was a loud, humming noise coming from inside. They were living inside the wall! Oh My!
The other night I watched a couple of episodes, thinking maybe the show would be less fun than the first time. Nope. It got better. The guys went out to a small house in the country to evict the woman who lived there. The owner had been ordered by the county to remediate some flood damage, which necessitated razing the house, and he’d served her with every legal notice, but she hadn’t moved out. Todd and Rick went to talk to her to find out why, and asked if they could come inside. She was adament she wouldn’t move out, but let them in. They walked into her (small) living room, and there was a big sheet over the door into the next room. One of the guys pulled it aside and there was a full-grown horse standing in the room, grazing on hay that was spread all over the floor! A HORSE! She couldn’t get the horse out because it was too big to go through the door! AND I guess she was thinking, “It’s not likely they’ll notice a full grown horse in the next room”?!!! They had to pull a wall down in order to get the horse out! She told them when she’d gotten the horse she’d been told it was a pygmy horse. Um, guess not. This horse had not been outside since he was full grown, and when they led him out, he started nibbling on the grass. This was the reason she hadn’t moved out, because she didn’t know how to get the horse out. I was screaming at the t.v., “A HORSE! She has a HORSE in her BEDROOM!” Oh My Goodness!
But my favorite episode featured this Appalachian family living in a rather nice, seaside apartment. Apparently, the relative who rented the apartment had died and his family decided to camp out in the apartment — about 10-20 of them. The owner couldn’t get them to vacate (they hadn’t been paying rent). Howard and Rick were dispatched to talk to them and knocked on the sliding glass door. A kind of psuedo bad-ass, youngish man came to the door and gave them some posturing bullshit, but Howard, when he wants to, can be nice, and said they’d just come over to try to work things out and asked to come in for 5 minutes. He offered the guy $5,000 to move out, so the guy said, “Only for 5 minutes”, and in they went. Inside we see grandpa, wearing a big, floppy hat (like Jed Clampitt’s), with a white beard hanging down to his chest, and various and sundry other folks all seated in a circle in the living room. Big ol’ Confederate flag hanging on the wall, and the “bad ass” guy was saying, “We don’t want to move because we have children.” I didn’t see any kids, but Howard (in an aside) tells the camera they must know what they’re doing because the courts don’t like to move families when they have children living in a dwelling.
While Howard was talking to Mr. Badass and some of the other kinfolk, Rick asked ol’ grandaddy if he could use the bathroom. This was just an excuse to look around, but ol’ grandaddy wasn’t too bright and gave him directions. Off Rick goes. He opens the toilet lid and sees the water is brown, and then turns on the faucet and no water comes out. It’s clear the water has been shut off. He tells the camera if he can find any violations, they can evict for those reasons, and that’s what he’s looking for. He starts off down the hall and opens a bedroom door. There is a STILL in the bedroom, working away! I’m saying it had an open flame underneath it, a propane tank off to the side (with a hose connecting it to the thing under the still providing the flames), and the still itself looked like the textbook copper still you’d see in the Appalachian mountains! In fact, there is a t.v. show about moonshining, and this one looked just like some of the stills the backwoods moonshiners are using!
A still in a regular apartment, in an apartment complex! I loved it and about fell off my couch laughing. Howard amended his offer to the Moonshiners down to $500 and a moving van. They took the deal.
If you want a huge laugh, and an eye opener about what people do in their rental units, please give this show a gander. It is hysterical. I swear if you saw this stuff in a movie you’d say it could never happen in real life, but it IS happening. Oh My Goodness Gracious!